It didn’t work out, you are gone, we couldn’t see eye-to-eye and I just want to say………Thank You!
Alright, just let me be honest. I have had my share of lovers. I know all about heartache and the life-changing process that comes with ending a relationship. I have cried, sobbed, surrendered to bitterness, pleaded……you name it. The break-ups were more like deaths to me, but before I knew it I was in love again.
So why do we surrender again? Is it an addiction to the rush related to being in love? Is it the hope that each experience will be different? Is it the fear of being alone? Is it society’s demand for us to settle down with the 1. Why do we take the risk?
After studying phenomena associated with relationships I began to notice that all of my ex lovers have many of the same traits! Like a magnet I was drawn to specific qualities that appealed to me, but that would also contribute to the demise of our connections. I began to delve into the patterns and I discovered that there was one link that could change my entire perception of my ideal guy. That factor is choice.
When I began to take personal responsibility instead of being the victim I realized that I needed to make some internal shifts. I began a self-love journey and I wrote a letter to all of my exes (read below).
“Dear Lovie Loves I want to thank you. Though, the ending of our union may not have been pleasant I hold no grudge. I probably said a lot of curse words in reference to your name and entire existence, but I’m out of my ego now. First, I want to thank you for showing to me parts of myself that were ugly. All of my insecurities were brought to the surface. I realize now that I no longer want them. They taught me some very important lessons and hopefully they were your teachers too. Second, thank you for showing to me my strengths. In some beautiful and sometimes chaotic way our union revealed to me that my heart still has the capacity to love very deeply. Sometimes, I forgot to give that love to myself. During the time that we began to fall into one another I allowed myself to be swept away into the waves of your ocean. I never thought about taking my time. I should have played in the sand a little longer. You were an essential part of my evolution. I can only thank you for choosing to be a part of my life story. In some magical way I know that we signed-up for it all, before we even met. Thank you for ultimately being the vessel that led me back to myself. I have returned to the sacred place where all that I have sought resides. I am no longer empty. I am no longer thirsty. My cup runneth over. I still love you”.
Jasmine Dominique is an Author, Blogger, and Holistic Health Specialist